Many people share a strong desire to become parents, but sadly, it isn’t a reality for everyone. When a loving duo longed to adopt a child, they faced challenging times but refused to give up.
Couples often turn to adoption or surrogacy when they struggle to conceive a child. However, the process is expensive and prevents countless hopeful parents from finding a child to love.
People had a lot to say when a happily married gay couple attempted to become dads. Read their honest account and discover the many challenges they experienced during their fostering and adoption journey.
MEANT TO BE
When Josh and Kyle connected on social media in 2011, they quickly developed feelings for each other. The duo went on a movie date and were inseparable from the very beginning of their budding romance.
After six months together, Kyle spoke about taking their relationship to the next level and expressed his desire to be a dad. However, they were only 21 and still lived at home with their parents. So, they knew they needed to wait until they were independent. Josh said:
“I made a deal with him: once we got our own place and, hopefully, were able to get married, then we could start to think of a family. We continued to date, travel, and enjoy each other.”
After tying the knot in 2017, they were ready to take their next steps, and because Josh was a man of his word, he knew that meant trying to become dads.
FOSTERING WASN’T EASY
Due to financial constraints, the men had limited options to consider on their journey to growing a family. Surrogacy and private adoptions were expensive, so Josh and Kyle were left with one viable course of action. They decided on “fostering to adopt.”
After doing extensive research, they realized the process was long and taxing. But the couple knew it was the most logical option, given their financial situation, and would eventually allow them to become parents.
After months of interviews, screening, and inspections, they were more anxious than ever. Josh and Kyle knew the purpose of fostering a child was the goal of reuniting them with their birth parents — and this terrified them. Josh expressed:
“Luckily, my husband is very grounded and was able to pull me back down to earth if I ever got too overwhelmed. And that happened more than once. The more we learned, the more fearful I became.”
THEY BECAME ATTACHED
The couple knew they might never have the chance to adopt a child placed in their care, and the added pressures from the foster agency made the journey immensely difficult.
Josh feared that he and Kyle might become too attached to the child entrusted to them. After getting their foster certification in six months, they brought home a four-day-old baby boy, Keon. He had breathing issues but was the perfect match for the couple.
While adjusting to parenthood, they were asked to foster Keon’s older brother, Shaun. He came from a volatile home and needed therapy, but he was meant to be with them. Josh said:
“As both boys began to grow up, they began to develop their own personalities and became quite attached to us. Both Kyle and I were present for many milestones, firsts, and everything in between.”
LIFE-CHANGING NEWS
The family of four flourished and enjoyed growing together. Josh and Kyle were thrilled to have their beloved foster kids in their home, and after a year, they received news that would set their lives on a new trajectory. Josh shared:
“We fostered for almost a year and a half before we were finally presented with the option to adopt. That day can only be described as pure joy.”
At the beginning of 2020, they heard permanent placement might be possible, but they didn’t want to get too excited because they knew nothing was set in stone.
A COMMENT CAUGHT THEM OFF GUARD
The couple’s desire to adopt caused a relative of the boys to get involved. They shared a nasty comment with the couple, and Josh recalled:
“In an unexpected twist, we did have a surprise family member of both boys step forward for custody right at the tail end of things. They believed ‘two men should not father two little boys.'”
The comment felt like a kick in the gut and caused the couple to become very anxious before their court date. Josh even had the grey hairs to prove his stress as the fateful day drew closer.
THEIR UNFORGETTABLE DAY IN COURT
Numerous witnesses testified, case files were read, and various factors were considered before the judge delivered her verdict. She looked at the couple directly and thanked them for taking care of the boys.
She swiftly approved their adoption, making it a day the dads would always cherish. They held hands and cried, grateful and relieved. Josh added:
“After falling in love with these two tiny humans, all the while knowing at any moment they could’ve been ripped away, caused us to metaphorically hold our breath for over a year. At that moment, we exhaled.”
BECOMING A FAMILY OF FIVE
In 2022, the family gained a new member—it was Khloe, the boys’ sister! In an Instagram post, the dads shared the happy news and revealed that it was an honor to be adding to their brood. They expressed:
“We officially adopted Khloe in mid-March. It was nice to get to do that in person … It was nice to have everyone who helped in the process, present for such a monumentous occasion.”
ADVICE FOR OTHER COUPLES
Josh and Kyle kept in contact with the mother of their adopted kids. They created a private social media page where she could view updates on their development, and the children could also see more of her life if they wanted to.
The dads also spoke positively about her and encouraged other adoptive parents to do the same. They hoped their story would show hopeful moms and dads that fostering and adoption came with various challenges.
NOT FOR THE FAINT-HEARTED
Their journey was riddled with emotional distress, uncertainty, and anxiety, but it was worth it at the end of the day. Josh urged others to share their love with children who desperately needed it. He concluded:
“For anyone who is remotely considering fostering or foster-to-adopt like we did, make sure you really evaluate your options. Keep an open line of communication. This process is not for the faint-hearted.
The dads faced setbacks, ridicule, and various hurdles on the road to adoption. However, their determination and passion for giving love propelled them and helped them see their dreams come true. What do you think about their story?
Click here for another gay father’s decision to adopt. He welcomed an abandoned boy into his home and later became a dad to 14 kids.